Born To Die
by Marklightwood297
Summary: I said I was writing a chapter fic so here it is. Magnus has a crushing realisation that Alec is far more likely to die during a demon hunt than to grow old with him. Alec has a foreshadowing vision. Warning: Will contain mentions of suicide and upsetting themes so that it why it is T-rated. Updates may take two weeks but can vary due to my school life, thanks :) Malec, boyxboy.
1. Chapter 1 - Prologue: Dark Lies

Sweat clung to Magnus's chest. He was hyperventilating, staring around the empty bedroom. He was alone. He rubbed his eyes and looked around the room, seeing the outline of the bright ceiling, the wardrobe and the chair that didn't work with the decor. Magnus looked over to his side to find an empty space between the sheets. Alec was at the institute, sleeping off a demon hunt that he nearly died in. Magnus hated Alec's hunting instinct that came with the Shadowhunter physique and swirling runes. He thought of Alec's arms, entwined with dark tattoos that gave strength and prowess to a simple person. Magnus's heart was still racing, beating out the fear of what he witnessed. Sometimes, he wished that could die, to never have to live through what he visualised, to take it with his own hands.

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Magnus downed his 3rd coffee, drumming his fingers on the mahogany table, the sound unbelievably loud to his ears. He stopped drumming and lapsed into silence. Chairman Meow was sitting opposite him, staring at the warlock with large green eyes. Magnus narrowed his own cats eyes at the chairman.

"Stop mentally judging me, you ball of fur". The chairman gave a small yowl in protest then hopped gracefully off the table, streaks of white and orange - brown flew through the air in a blur, and into the bedroom. Magnus sighed, looking down at his coffee mug in solitary worry. What if Alec doesn't come back to the apartment? Magnus dismissed the thought, Alec wouldn't stay at the institute without informing him. Magnus was about to pour another cup of coffee when the sound of a key turning alerted his ears. The loud clanks if the doors tumblers echoed around the room. The chairman yowled loudly from the bedroom, clearly his sleep was disturbed. Alec stepped into the apartment and was immediately ambushed by a small cat, purring loudly. Alec shook his head, black locks swished against his face. Burning blue eyes looked up, meeting Magnus's with a mix of joy, relief and love.

"You waited up for me" Alec beamed.

"Why wouldn't I wait for my very own handsome shadowhunter?" Magnus smiled back. "I'm making coffee, do you want some?"  
Alec placed his dagger belt over the coat stand and tossed his jacket over the top.

"Yeah, Jace was being incredibly annoying and Izzy's texting conversations with Simon was starting to grind on my brain"

"Yet you look really well rested, how do you do it?" Magnus asked "I can use moisturisers yet I still have that just woke up look"

"I love that look!" Alec protested "makes you look rugged"

Magnus shuffled around the kitchen, the light reflecting off the glitter particles in his hair. Alec quietly floated behind him, wrapping his arms round Magnus's bare waist, nuzzling his neck as he did so. Magnus laughed. Alec's skin was warm against his. For someone so pale, Alec retained a lot of heat. The soft, cotton texture of Alec's t-shirt smoothed against Magnus's back, sending tingles up his spine. Magnus turned to face him, gold-green eyes facing burning blue. Their foreheads touched and rested together for a while, not speaking, silence was truly golden in a moment of love and honesty.

Magnus broke the silence by whispering "I love you"

The space between them shrunk to nothing. Magnus trapped Alec in a kiss. Soft lips on soft lips. Their tongues wrestled with each other. Alec had to place his hands in the worktop in front of him to stable himself, caressing Magnus's slender hips as he did so. They broke apart enough for Alec to whispered back "I love you too". They kissed again. Neither shadowhunter nor warlock didn't say another word, what Alec said was enough.


	2. Chapter 2 - Darkness Swarming

**Authors note: Hi guys! here is the second chapter of Born to Die. This chapter may seem different to part 1 but trust me, they're going to link together in later chapters so hold tight. Disclaimer: I don't own any characters in this fic. Magnus, Alec and Jace all belong to Cassie Clare. Thanks :)**

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_Blood surged from the gaping hole in his chest, pooling into sickly puddles of crimson. Alec could clearly see the colourless streaks of tears that scarred Magnus's face. The softness of his skin was lost to the cold sensation of him. Calloused hands smoothed the weary face of a warlock, long dead._

_A hand rested on Alec's shoulder. "Don't forget all you have done for him" Alec turned to see black eyes floating in the dark. Isabelle. She was covered in blood, ichor burning into the tough leather of her jacket. "Magnus loved you, you know that?" Alec nodded, his throat felt sore from all the pain and anguish fall as tears and cries He saw as the love of his life die in his arms and nothing could erase that thought, now embedded on conscience._

_"Why didn't I know?" Alec finally croaked, only a horse whisper. "Why didn't he tell me?"_

_"I can't answer that" Isabelle said, forlornly. "All I can say is that he is gone."_

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Alec opened his eyes. He was in Magnus's bedroom, the warlock asleep next to him. He sat up and placed his hands to his face, his fingers came away wet. He'd been crying. The turquoise pillow case he laid on was stained with tears. What did he just see? Magnus shifted until he was lying on his back, staring up at Alec with luminous gold-green eyes.

"Alec?" Magus asked. "Are you alright?" Alec didn't reply, he only looked down at the duvet cover, crumpled around his abdomen and his legs. Magnus caressed Alec's side. Alec shivered, Magnus took his hands away. "Alec, please answer me"

"Cold hands" Alec said simply. "Odd thing for you to have"

"How is that relevant?" Magnus inquired.

"I had a dream" Alec finally said after 2 minutes of nothing. "I dreamed that you were dying in my arms. A huge hole in your chest" Alec sniffled "I lost you and I couldn't do anything but cry" Magnus stroked his hands over Alec's face, turning his head to face Magnus's. Magnus moved his hands to Alec's shoulder and wrapped his arms around Alec. Alec wrapped his arms around Magnus's waist and pulled him close. The two men held each other in a tight embrace, not speaking. A beautiful silence enveloped the room only to be killed by a yowl of jealousy from the chairman, who was feeling lonely and crept into the bedroom to find his owners in embrace. He nuzzled his way in between them, through a space big enough for him to fit in. Alec and Magnus looked down at the ball of fluff that had invaded their moment and both smiled. The three of them slept soundly in peace of a family at rest.

Alec never really felt the same after his dream, he felt like it was a vision of the future. Of Magnus dying in his arms. Alec was in central park, sparring with Jace. Jace overpowered him and he fell back onto the ground. Jace helped Alec onto his feet, his delicate face crinkled with worry. Golden eyes softened from their usual hard set gaze. "What's up with you? You seem distracted" Jace asked. "Trouble in gay paradise?" Alec gave an inappropriate gesture. Jace smiled.

"Well," Alec sighed "I had the dream last night, you know, the one that I've had for the last few nights"

"Magnus dying?" Jace questioned. Alec nodded. He told Jace and Izzy a while back, but he hadn't told Magnus that the dream was recurring. "Look, Magnus may know something about dreams so tell him"

"I told him that I had the dream but not that it is recurring." Alec glanced down at his muddy boots.

"You should tell him" Jace prompted.

"I know but how can I?" Alec quickly reacted. "Look, I'm tired of thinking about it can we please change the subject? How are you and Clary?"

Jace sighed. Things with him and Clary haven't been going well since she decided she needed a break from shadowhunting and he tried to convince her other wise. "We talked last night and she is doing well, even with Simon obsessing over Isabelle" Alec laughed. He didn't know why but Jace's relationship woes kept his mind off his own. Isabelle has been chatting constantly to Simon so the most he ever spoke to her was during hunts but most likely of that was tactics and not an actual conversion. He felt Jace's hand on his shoulder, dragging him out of his mental pit.

"You need sleep, you look like you've not had a rest for a week" Jace said, his face full of worry. Alec simply nodded. Jace was right, he needed sleep but Alec knew that every time he closed his eyes, Magnus would die in his arms over and over again.

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**Hope you enjoyed this chapter, the next chapter will take a while because I'm going back to school (Ugh) and I have to write it on my phone and get it beta read be my friends who follow this so just hold on! It's gonna be posted soon.**


	3. Chapter 3- Misery

**Hello after 2 months! Sorry this update took so flaming long, It's because School is being a bit of a B!tch and having exams and all that other stuff and also I have had writers block so that is why the start is similar to the first (or was it second?) chapter.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the mortal instruments characters :)**

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Chapter 3- Misery

"Alec!" Magnus yelled, sitting up. His breathing was heavy with worry and fear. Magnus's nose wrinkled at the smell of blood. He looked down at his hand. He had hit it against the corner of the side table and the corner had broke the skin on the back of his hand. Blood welled up in the wound, drying in a sticky scab of dried blood. Blue flames glowed faintly in his palm and soon, the wound faded from existence, leaving only a pale mark on his hand. "Nothing wrong" Magnus whispered "everything is OK" he chuckled a little "Talking to an empty room and empty bed, Bane" he sighed "the signs are showing" Magnus glanced at the flat side of the quilt where Alec slept. "Oh Alec, why do you have to be at the institute?" Magnus was close to tears with the catch in his throat showing through his speech. Indignantly, Magnus flopped face first into his pillow.

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Coffee burned the tongue of the high warlock. Mahogany liquid swilled in the foam cup which did no help in waking Magnus's tired brain. A small yowling attracted his attention. Chairman Meow was padding softly back and forth across the floor by Magnus's feet, white fur brushing against Magnus's leg.

"At least you stay here" Magnus said, staring down at the fluffball now sitting down and locking his gaze up at Magnus with gold-green eyes. Somehow, Chairman Meow's eyes reflected the same thoughts Magnus was having, "Where is Alec?"

A low clank stole the attention of both cat eyed beings in the room. The creak of the hinges filled the room. Magnus stood up from his table, waiting to see Alec walk in but his joy was cut short when Isabelle walked in, carrying a large box marked "Alec's"

"Isabelle?! What are you doing here?" Magnus asked, attempting and failing to hide the shock in his voice. "I didn't give you a key"

"Alec lent it to me" Isabelle retorted, putting the box down and folding her arms. "Alec should have told you that I was stopping by to drop off some of his stuff with him." Alec still hadn't moved everything back into Magnus's apartment so he still had stuff at the institute.

"He's downstairs?"

"Duhhh" Isabelle said, picking up the box and placing it on the kitchen counter. "He wouldn't be at the institute, he practically lives here"

"Well he hasn't been here often" Magnus sighed. "He said he was tried after a demon hunt and he needed rest"

"So he thought that the institute was a better place for rest than in the arms of the 'king of fabulous' aka the man he loves?" Izzy looked back at Magnus with a mix of worry and sympathy. "Well, he may have a reason for it though"

"What reason?" Magnus asked but before Izzy could start to reply, Alec knocked on the door which had closed behind Izzy without her or Magnus realising. Magnus walked over to the door and opened it to find Alec beaming back at him with bright blue eyes. Mentally, Magnus was going through a memory reboot as he remembered his dream from the night before. He showed no sign of worry or fear on the outside but inside, it was hellish.

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**Yeah... not the best chapter... I am writing chapter 4 but it may take a while. Please review! thanx**


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